I’ll keep my debut 2018 post simple, and I admit I lifted this mantra from a Zen Habits post about the danger of comparisons—a bad habit of mine. In an almost offhand comment, Leo Babauta says, “We don’t need to be better than anyone else: we just need to love where we are and what we’re doing and who we are. That’s what matters.”
Something struck me about these three things he mentioned. After I read the post, I found that turning these three things into a short meditation any time during the day calms and centers me when my mind drifts to comparisons.
I want to break each one down because I feel they are important to examine more closely.
Love where you are
It’s easy to feel bad or bored about where you live. It’s easy to desire your next bout of travel or vacation. It’s easy to compare your living situation with other people.
Instead, love where you are. I began to appreciate my tiny studio apartment for the view it affords of Atlanta’s skyline, the low level of maintenance it requires, and the peace and quiet. I began to appreciate hanging out at coffee shops (like my favorite, Condesa Coffee) listening to the chatter around me and enjoying the bustle of traffic, bikers, and walkers outside. At my parents’ home for vacation, I let myself bask in the memories of growing up there and enjoyed the semirural winter landscape that I don’t get to see in Atlanta.
Even if you’re not in an ideal place right now, still appreciate it. I look back with a lot of nostalgia and fondness at my less than ideal living situations in the past—from my tiny dorm room at Kent State University to my less than stellar apartment in Virginia-Highland for eight years. It’s part of the journey.
Love what you’re doing
This is a great way to become more present and avoid comparisons, mental obsessions, or dark tunnels. Like waking up from a dream, I’ve started to become more aware of the activity I’m doing NOW such as creative writing, client work, reading, or enjoying music. Even mundane tasks like eating, sitting on my balcony, or doing my laundry benefit from this awareness.
This practice helps give you more agency. Perhaps your life isn’t where you want it right now and you can’t fix it overnight. But you can focus on the task you’re doing NOW with more love, awareness, and attention. You do have control, but it takes focusing on the task at hand.
Love who you are
For me, this is the hardest one. The way I approach it is by recalling the highlights of my life journey, acknowledging my successes, and feeling gratitude about life—health, family, friends, and my career—both creative and professional. Sure, I’m always a work in progress and I struggle with many things. But I take time to remind myself of my good side in a way that a friend would think of me. Often, we’re our own harshest critic and a bad friend to ourselves.
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So, if you’re distracted, comparing yourself to others, or feeling bad about yourself, just pause and:
- Love where you are
- Love what you’re doing
- Love who you are
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